I loved Chennai .......

Hey back after a long time.....

Had been to chennai for 15 days.And i loved it there.
The city was very much like Mumbai in a few respects. But it still had a distinct flavour to it.

Similarities with mumbai like traffic jams at peak hours,well-connected bus service,auto rickshaws available at every nook and corner.

The city doesn't sleep after 7 unlike some cities i have been to.I could move around at 9-9.30 alone in a rickshaw. Didnt feel out of place for a moment.At one point of time, 2 of us ladies were on the street at 11-11.30 in the night due to an emergency.And it was not bad at all.People on the street didnt look at us as if we had done a direct landing from Planet Venus.Nor did they look at us giving looks of 'lets eat them up'. So in 1 sense it felt safe.

Chennai was much cleaner than aamchi mumbai.Also more organised in terms of traffic management.Though jams hote hain but not the 'not-moving' types. No city can beat mumbai in those.Also no wall of the city was left empty.They either had paintings of political leaders or film personalities.They also have full lighted portraits of goddesses and rajnikant etc. Cool ones.And statues all over the place.Best part is, name of the person is written in tamil.

Coming to tamil. The localites understand only tamil.So as soon as u say "Tamil no" which means u dont know tamil, u turn into deaf and dumb communicating only through actions.If u r lucky, the autowala might understand few bits and pieces of english.It was funny talking to an autowala or shopkeeper in english though.

But But But..... If u want to experience mumbai in chennai, go to a place called T nagar on a holiday in the evening. Atleast 1 crore people inside each of the stores.Clothing, jewellery etc.I felt claustrophobic at that time.

Even when it was pouring cats and dogs in the western and central parts of India to the extent of floods everywhere, it was completely dry in chennai. In the 15 days i stayed there, it just rained once, that too just a small shower.Weather was very hot and humid.But thankfully on the day we had been sightseeing around chennai, it was cloudy.So we didnt have the sun glaring at us.

We had been to a beach named besant nagar on a weekday evening.It was only there that i could get my photo clicked without anybody else in the frame.Only me and the sea.Meaning, the beach wasnt crowded like the way it is here.Also this beach was extremely clean.Sand was so soft as if u were walking on a combination of satin-silk and wool.

My friend kept saying she wanted to see the sunset.And i kept telling her she couldnt do that in chennai.Atleast not in the waters.She didnt believe me.Most people think sunset has to be seen in the waters. But the point is Chennai is on the coast of Bay of Bengal which is towards the east.So u can see sunrise and not sunset in the waters. We are so used to the beaches in Mumbai, Goa, Kerala, that this technicality slips our mind.

Coming back to chennai, people there are very helpful.One of my friends was getting late to go somewhere and thats y was running towards the area.A guy on a bike stopped and asked him where he was going.He actually dropped him at the place he wanted to go.Who would do that in mumbai.Also people there do not believe in taking risks. They r straightforward people, doing their work, watching rajnikant movies and leading a clean life.

Got an opportunity to watch classic tamil movie Sivaji.Ahhh what stunts, i must say.How many getups he changed in a 3 hour movie. Above the age of 50 and romancing a petite 25 year old.Didnt really understand a word they said, but i had so much fun.Even a hera pheri or andaz apna apna or Angoor havent made me laugh as i laughed in Sivaji.Three cheers to Rajnikant.

Things of Interest -
Away from Chennai - Pondicherry,Tirupati,Mahabalipuram,Kancheepuram,Rameshwaram

In Chennai - Marina Beach,Besant Nagar Beach,Shopping in T nagar (Silk sarees in Nalli and gold jewellery),Murugan Idli for authentic south Indian food (not to forget oil pudi),Chettinadu Chicken,Spencer Mall(Beware u can get lost inside),Mysore pa from Krishna Sweets, Theme Park on way to Mahabalipuram, TTDC conducted Boating with awesome colour of water,1-2 pubs i didnt get a chance to go to.

All in all, it was fun trip.Paid holiday from my office as gift.I think Tamil Nadu Government ought to hire me as the marketing manager or tourism development minister for chennai.What say people........

Love at first sight !!!!!!!!!!

Recently had been to a movie......
Guy looks at the gal while passing her in a building.....
Falls for her instantly......
Later meets her at a trip and proposes marriage to her.....
She is surprised and flattered and doesnt answer.....
For a long time, he is after her and she doesnt answer......
After a long time of being friends, she says she is fine wid the proposal.....
But.................
She is a single unwed mother.......
Now what.........
If love is true, he wouldnt mind.......
But his love was on seeing her once, he cannot accept her past.......
Is this love at first sight real and for any good??????

Thought about this for a long time. Have seen lots of couples.College se lekar, abhi tak.Each person (including me), i feel has a mental checklist for the type of person, he/she is looking for.Different people have different priorities.Some go for looks, some status, some family background, some education,some money, some nature of person.I mean the weightage for all these points differs from person to person.But all these basic points are there in every person's mind.Each person they meet is analysed against this mental checklist.Anybody satisfying this image is selected.

If this person is found on our own, it becomes love marriage.If this person meets us because our family has made us meet him, it becomes arranged marriage.

I dont think there is anything as love at first sight unless our only priority is looks.How would one know the nature and compatibilty of any person with us without spending a second with that person.......

Interesting sms i received "Love is a constant battle between the heart and mind.True love is when they agree"

Kabhi Kabhi aditi zindagi........

My favourite song and i wana immortalise it.Probably by writing it on my blog. I am completely in love with each and every word and the guitar is just amazing.

Kabhi Kabhi aditi zindagi mein yuhi koi apna lagta hai
Kabhi kabhi aditi woh bichhad jaye toh ek sapna lagta hai
Aise mein koi kaise in aansuion ko behne se roke
Aur kaise koi soch de everthing's gonna be ok

Kabhi kabhi toh lage zindagi mein rahi na khushi aur na mazza
Kabhi Kabhi toh lage har din mushkil aur har pal ek sazza
Aise mein koi kaise muskurae, kaise has de khush hoke
Aur kaise koi soch de everthing's gonna be ok

Soch zara jaaneja tujhko hum kitna chahte hain
Rote hain hum bhi agar teri aankhon mein aansu aate hai
Gaana toh aata nahi hai magar phir bhi hum gaate hain
Ki aditi maan kabhi jab saare jahaan mein andhera hota hai
Lekin raat ke baad hi toh savera hota hai

Kabhi Kabhi aditi zindagi mein yuhi koi apna lagta hai
Kabhi kabhi aditi woh bichhad jaye toh ek sapna lagta hai
Ae aditi has de has de has de has de has de has de tu zara
Nahi toh bas thoda thoda thoda thoda thoda thoda muskura

Tu khush hai toh lage ki jahaan mein chhayi hai khushi
Suraj nikle badalon se aur baaten zindagi
Sun toh zara madhosh hawa tujhse kehne lagi
Ki aditi woh jo bichhadte hain ek na ek din phir mil jaate hain
Aditi Jaane tu ya jaane na phool phir khil jaate hain

Kabhi Kabhi aditi zindagi mein yuhi koi apna lagta hai
Kabhi kabhi aditi woh bichhad jaye toh ek sapna lagta hai
Ae aditi has de has de has de has de has de has de tu zara
Nahi toh bas thoda thoda thoda thoda thoda thoda muskura

Ae aditi has de has de has de has de has de has de tu zara
Nahi toh bas thoda thoda thoda thoda thoda thoda muskura

Ae aditi has de has de has de has de has de has de tu zara
Nahi toh bas thoda thoda thoda thoda thoda thoda muskura

Ae aditi has de has de has de has de has de has de tu zara
Nahi toh bas thoda thoda thoda thoda thoda thoda muskura

Ae aditi has de has de has de has de has de has de tu zara
Nahi toh bas thoda thoda thoda thoda thoda thoda muskura

Interesting lines i read and heard......

A Thousand Splendid Suns by Khaled Hosseini
" Like a compass needle that points north, a man's accusing finger always finds a woman"

Above Average by Amitabha Bagchi
"Loneliness is a disease whose symptoms grow worse at night"

Pride and Prejudice by Jane Austen
"It is a universally acknowledged truth that a single man in possesion of a large fortune must be in want of a wife"

Tera Chehra by Jagjit Singh
"Aag ka kya hai, pal do pal mein lagti hain
Bhujte bhujte ek zamaana lagta hai

Sach toh yeh hai, Phool ka dil bhi chhalni hai
Hasta chehra ek bahana lagta hai"

Lonawala 14-15th June 2008

Hey mauja continues....

My old office people make loads of plans.Many say that hardly any plan materialises.But finally 1 did.Despite many problems, 1 successful plan did happen.

Saturday afternoon.Its pouring cats and dogs.Flooded roads.Mom dad saying, too much rain, chuck the plan, too many accidents happen.But moi, the great said, too much rain, even more fun.We just have to get drenched.

We were supposed to meet at Andheri station at 12.15.IST(Indian Standard Time) of course.By the time every1 gathered and we left, it was 2 pm.In case anybody wondering y so late, that's coz few people had half day office on sat.

Hanste, Khelte, Gaate, Gungunate, Khate, Peete, Photo Kheechte, Chidate, Chhedte hue we left mumbai.11 of us, with a ratio of 7:4.Mini bus tha, suhana mausam aur hamari cricket team thi.

Once we reached, we went to a tata power dam.Nobody knew what the name was. It wasnt Bushi of course.That every1 knew.....Dam wasnt that great.But it was raining.We got drenched.Had Makka(Corn). Mazaak Masti chaalu tha.

1 friend ke uncle ka bungalow tha.We thought bags rakh ke ghumne chalte hain.Thats when,mauja had begun.There were loads of bungalows.We didnt know which was the right 1.Watchman ko puch ke we finally went to it.My friend had loads of keys.We kept trying all keys.None worked.Uncle ko phone kiya.He said caretaker must have gone out, u'll break the lock.We tried and tried.But couldnt.Chori-Chakari ka kisiko experience nahi tha.Hard luck.We had to wait for the caretaker.Waited, waited, waited.Even thought of going to market and booking hotel rooms.But entire maharashtra crowd had descended(or ascended) in lonawala that weekend.It was impossible to get rooms at the last minute.So we had to wait.Some two hours later,God knows how it happened........
Someone found out, we were trying the wrong bungalow.Right 1 was 2 bungs away.....
In hindsight, good the lock didnt give away, else 11 CA ko jail ka room zaroor mil jaata.

Raat ho gayi.We went to kumar resort ka disco.I have never been to 1.As in office parties bahut hue hain.But they book the entire disc.So no outsiders allowed.But this was different.We went and saw the place.There were hardly 5-6 people besides us.So we thought chalo thik hai.That too 100 bucks per head was very cheap.Plus met another couple from our office there.Danced our hearts out.13 mein se hum 4 to itna nache ki the others had to pull us out of the disc coz the watchman would close the gates of the bungalows at 1 am.It has never happened to me before.Being pulled out by 2 people.....
1 special mention,guys did not touch drinks.I dont know whether they normally do or dont, but we had warned them against it.And they obeyed.

Ghar aake dumbsharas,cards khela,baatein ki and slept off at 3 am.Guess what...... 6.30 ko we got up.(Ask me to try that when i m at home)Got ready, photo sessions hue,nashta hua.

Off we went to Karla caves.These are caves on a hill.Caves were ok.But the climb and photo sessions were fun.

Then we planned to go to Bushi dam.But the traffic in lonawala is worse than in mumbai.It just doesnt move.Thats also because, half of mumbai is in lonawala for the weekends.Anyway no time left. Duur se dam dekha.Besides there wasnt water overflowing over the dam, which is the fun part. So we skipped that.

Next destination was tiger point.Awesome waterfall.We were under the falls for about 2-3 hours.It felt as if ice cubes were being pelted at us with strong force.Cant describe it though.You have to be there to know it.Too much fun in water.No photos unfortunately.We changed in the bus and left for the bungalow.Got stuck real bad in traffic.Had barely enough time to buy chikki, fudge and pack few sandwiches.Off to Mumbai.Nashte ke baad sidha dinner at home.Wid 1 corn in between and sandwich in the bus.

But the break was welcome.Great fun.Being with friends always rejuvenates u.1 thing which i learnt from the entire trip was........
"Boys take more time to get ready than girls do" Koi shak.....

Episode continued.........

If anybody wondering what the title means, kindly read the earlier post before reading this one.Me just trying to have some fun while writing.....

Most must have guessed what i meant to say in my earlier post.....
Yeah Rite, the hot topic of the season is 'SHAADI'.....
I really cant believe in the past few months, wherever i go, people have only 1 topic on their mind.....
Some friend is getting married, some colleague engaged, some aunt-uncle looking out for rishta for my cousin/friend.If no stories about all this, i'll be asked when i am getting married.As if civilisation will end if i dont oblige them or all guys on earth will either get booked or shift to other 8-9 planets.....
I feel like screaming and saying 'Chill people, Moi only 23'......

Not that i have anything against getting married. In fact i want to.The only issue is 'the migration from girl to woman is too quick'. One day i am studying, next day i am happy that exams are over and the third day, people talk of me going away.Ok i am exaggerating on the days part.But let me find myself. Do things i wana do. Shaadi is a huge responsibilty.Taking on an entire new person and new family as your own.Agreed , all do it and love between both makes it easier.But mind and heart should be tuned to the new phase.....

Another aspect of this entire episode, love or arranged.Since moi has not yet met Mr. Right, yeh taklif bhi matashri- pitashri ko uthani padegi.The first time my mom talked about marriage et all, i had a pit in my stomach.Or cold feet is it called.Didnt know what to say and how to react.Arranged setups, being really typical.The first question was "How do u decide whom u want to spend your life with, talking for an hour or two".

Dil to pagal hai jaise koi bulb jalega kya OR Main hoon na jaise violins bajenge.

One of my colleagues going the arranged way had said to me "God knows if i'll get what i love/like or will have to love/like what i get".

The only positive of starting early (which they convinced me)is that you need not compromise on what you want in your match.You can afford to wait for Mr. Right and not settle down on Mr. Ok-Ok.

As for my story, i love my stars and literally.When i said 'wait for sometime" nobody listened to me.But now my stars say so.Yeeeeeaaaaahhhhh.My mom consulted a jyotish on this and he said 'No chance for the next two years'. Moi did a zulu dance on hearing that.Lucky me.Do saal ke liye bach gayi. Till then i'll mentally prepare myself for the life changing episode and then live happily ever after.......
What say people......

Shocking !!!!!!!!!!!

Heard the most shocking thing of my entire life a few days back.....
My mom dad were actually talking abt throwing me out of the house.As in literally.I thought they are joking at first.Past few days my mom was really giving me a hard time.Always kept saying that i didnt know how to do any work on my own.How will i survive when i have to live away from her.......
And yesterday i actually heard them saying "we have to take a decision. This cant go on for too long.Yeh ab nahi kiya toh bahut der ho jaayegi".......
I have heard children throwing parents out of the house (especially on getting married and all) but this might be a 1 of case.Parents throwing kid out of the house......
My mom said she'll wait for the right moment and talk to me about leaving the place i have stayed for the past 23 years.She says 23 years bahut ho gaye.Bahut Zhel Liya Mujhe.Now u better go and eat somebody else's head for a change.....
Continued in agla episode......

IPL fever caught and gone

The first time i heard about IPL, i dismissed it as another money making business idea by BCCI.....
Hearing about the huge figures of $$$$$ millions etc, i even more lost interest.....
Later when the matches started, i felt kisko support karu.....
A]Dhoni from Chennai, Ganguly from Kolkata, Tendulkar from Mumbai.....
B]Gilchrist from Hyderabad,Shoaib from Kolkata, Shane Warne from Rajasthan.....
I was used to cheering for A] come what may. Even if they lost real bad.
I was also used to hating and cursing B] for playing well against us (as in India).
For me cricket was not about a game, it was about passion for country (as in patriotism).Probably my way of being patriotic......
Didnt watch the beginning 10-15 matches......
But then the epidemic of IPL fever spread like wild fire and me caught it after all....
People in office started talking about it....
Bongs supported Kolkata, Northies supporting Delhi, Southies supporting Chennai.
Mere bechaare mumbai ko sab bhul gaye.All staying here, but supporting their native places.As my colleague said, supporting matrubhoomi but not supporting karmabhoomi....
Anyway so me had to stand up for mumbai.On second thoughts probably they were right too, coz wherever in the world i stay in future, my heart will remain in mumbai.....
Anyway coming back to pavilion.....
Not like taking credit, but as soon as i started seeing IPL, mumbai won 6 in a row.That got my spirits up.....
In fact my spirit was so up, that i landed up at wankhede, spending 500 bucks.Mumbai Indians Vs Kings XI Punjab.Stayed up at night and made a poster "Rajasthan Delhi Kolkata toh haari, Punjab ab teri baari".......
Watching a match at wankhede was a treat in itself.What awesome crowd.Too much fun. The waves of cheer they create, the slogans they scream, the drums, the dance, the jumps of ecstacy on sachin's six.
And then as luck would have it, mumbai lost by a run.My northie colleagues couldnt stop jeering at me.And more bad luck followed.Mumbai lost more matches and got thrown out of the tournament.....
Now what.....
Fever thoda thik hone laga par gaya nahi, coz i thought now i should cheer for once underdog and now awesome team, rajasthan royals.....
Come June 1, Chennai Vs Rajasthan,Dhoni Vs Warne......
Ab kya karu, i like Dhoni, but i like all players of RR. So went for RR and they won too.....
Now the epidemic has gone and i am already missing it. Stopped watching TV.Has IPL fever gone.................

Mauja hi mauja

Me back after a long time.

Nowadays me back to mauja hi mauja.Had been caught up with something for the past few months.Now that i am free, lots of things to be done. Lots of stuff which actually will get me back from where i took myself.

Weekdays mein only office and ghar is possible, sprinkled with tv, phone chatting.
Weekends are the ones for mauja hi mauja.

1 weekend went off to alibag to my cousins place.Had fun.Had experiences which i had never had before.Especially the return journey.Had food which was heavenly.

1 weekend went on a tirth yatra in mumbai. Mumbai darshan at its best. Though started off thoda late in the afternoon.Had famous, mouth watering cheese pav bhaji at mumbai central, went to mahalaxmi temple, walked all the way to haji ali, then to mount mary church in bandra by bus, then to kandivli by train for another work.Missed out on a gurudwara and siddhi vinayak.Next time sahi.

1 weekend had 2 school friends come to my place for their night-out and my night-in. Slept at 7 in the morning.Another friend asked did u watch a movie kya.I said no, just chatted chatted and chatted, Laughed as never before.Never had had such an experience.It was too much fun.Mom asked in the morning, itna kya baat kiya? I said, dunno. Not on any topic. Just girl talk.Awesome pajama party.

Meeting friends at malls etc is not even counted.

Now if planning goes alright,
1 weekend old office friends ke saath mahabaleswar.
1 weekend college friends ke saath, night out at another friend's place.
1 weekend current office friends ke saath lonawala.

All this and more coming up.
Lots of other plans in the pipeline. Hope all fall in place.

Also me reading voraciously. Novel par novel.

Ek aur man ki ichha puri karni hai.Working towards it.Jaise hi materialise ho jaye, blog will be the first thing to know it.

MAUJA HI MAUJA.

Gaana yaad aaya

Ajeeb Dastaan hai yeh
Kahaan Shuru, kahaan khatam,
Yeh manjile hai kaunsi,
Na woh samajh sake na hum.
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Dil aur Dimaag ka locha

Hey me back after a long time......
But cant stay away from writing for a very long time.....
I named my url undecisive.....
This attribute of mine has complicated life further.....
For any issue i have two options now.....
1) Dil kehta hai - emotional approach
2) Dimaag bolta hai - practical approach
Both start fighting in the brain.......
Whom should i listen to????
I decided to weigh both options......
I'll listen to whichever is heavier......
But complications have just begun.....
1) Complication no.1 - Both weigh almost equal matlab i can act according to situation 1 or 2 above. Both giving completely different results and taking me onto completely different paths
2) Complication no.2 - Situation 1 has sub alternatives a,b,c and sitaution 2 has alternatives a,b,c. So now i have even more fighting in my brain.
In short life is complicated.......
Jaise movies mein dikhate hain ek white mein aur ek black mein, 2 awaaz bolti hain.......
Par negative aur positive ki ladhai hoti toh phir bhi it would have been easy.....
Choose positive......
For some decisions there is just no right or wrong.....
There are just two paths and various sub paths......
Dil Dimaag ka sun sun ke I m going nuts.......
Par decision to lena hai.......
Just thinking from all angles so that there is no regret later....
Kaun jeetega woh toh pata nahi par itna pata hai ki baad mein regret nahi chahiye......
Isliye soch soch ke sure hona hai......
Is this indecisiveness......
Shayad nahi......

Delete button

Hey for successful computing in your career, the four requisite tools are Ctrl+C, Ctrl+V, Ctrl+X and delete button.
Sabse important tool to edit anything is delete button.Typewriter ke zamaane ko yaad karo toh zara. First u had to write out the entire draft, make corrections and then type out the entire thing.If u had to improvise later, type the entire thing again.What an excruciatingly painful life.
Comp made everything easy.Just edit as you go on writing. Change and take a print, still more changes - change and take a print......

Recently saw a marathi movie - kadachit (meaning shayad in hindi, perhaps in english).The lead female in the movie has a very horrific childhood.Watching her parents fight day-in,day-out and her mom losing her life in front of the kid's eyes at the hands of her dad. These memories haunted her so much that after seeing her dad 20 years later,she lost herself.The movie is about how she could get back her life with the help of her husband and friends......

The movie made me think of the delete button.Kaash yeh delete button apni life mein hota.Matlab what i dont wana think, what i dont wana remember, what i dont wana feel should just be deleted from my mind.Kuch baatein, kuch kisse, kuch things hai jo hum bhul jaana chahti hain. Just Ctrl+X it out of your life. But mind doesn't help.Yeh hamaare haath mein kyun nahi hai.Shayad hai bhi - bahut willpower chahiye. "I'll not think about this." Keep repeating this to yourself until that thought is out of your mind.......

I wana Ctrl+C and Ctrl+V my sweet memories and Ctrl+X and delete my bad memories. Will it be possible.Time will tell.........

10 favourite things !!!!!

Hey past few weeks have been thoda ajeeb. Kaafi senti ho gayi thi.
Thought for a change let me remember things i really love doing. Things which really make me happy.

1) Eating Cadbury (Plain wala)
2) Sleeping (neend nahi aayi toh just lazying on the bed)
3) Watching hindi movies (theatre and tv)
4) Listening to my favourite songs (my taste being very specific)
5) Seeing new places (beach to mountains to rivers to caves)
6) Clicking photos (bing the official photographer of all groups)
7) Reading novels (fictional)
8) Writing on my blog (most recent)
9) Meeting close friends and relatives (only selected people have the privelege)
10)Doing Sudoku and Kakuro(sirf mumbai mirror ka)

Looking forward to all this.

Cant believe all this !!!!

Just last week i paid a tribute to my nani thru the blog.And i cant believe, the time has come for a second tribute.This time to my maasi............

How does it happen, why did it happen,why her,why so soon are few of the ques troubling my mind.................

U know i had heard God takes away good human beings first and then the bad ones. That must be true in my maasi's case........

Kahaan se shuru karu.....

She was a lot like my nani. Common points for the both of them......

She loved travelling, going to various places, meeting people, making new friends, going to relatives houses, enjoying in groups. She's the most enthusiastic person i have ever met."Haushi" is a word in marathi which every1 calls her.It means "will to do and try everything in life".

Whenever i m not well, i hate to get up from my bed.She was not like that. Even when she was in so much pain, she would never miss a function/wedding.

She loved people and people loved her.She was a favourite among all.Jaan of all get-togethers.I have learnt how to enjoy from her.I have travelled a lot with her.I used to go to many of our relatives places with her.......

She loved to cook.She would try out various recipes and get it for us whenever she came to our place.Kaakdi-dhonus, rawa ladu,various kings of wadis and puran poli.

She loved to stitch.She stitched all her dresses, blouses. She would stitch dresses and frocks for us when we small.She has done lots of other things too- cloth painting, batic, embroidery and what not......

I have never ever visited a single doctor since i got chicken-pox in 5th standard.This was possible only bcoz she was a doctor.Any time anything happened to me, i would simply give her a call, tell her whats happening, she would tell me medicines and i would be fine. She was my family doctor sitting in alibag and without even looking at me, she would make me alrite.She was a doctor in RCF hospital in Alibag.

She was extremely adventurous-going trekking, climbing mountains.She used to take us on picnics whenever we went to alibag.

She was a champion of badminton.She loved swimming, tabletennis etc. She was also in NCC in college days.

She was very eager to learn new things.Various types of paintings and making creative things.

She was very religious as well-visiting temples wherever she went, having bhajan sessions at home.She was an expert at yoga.

She used to learn classical singing. Though she hated hindi film songs (new ones).Switch off the radio, she used to tell us in the car, while going anywhere.

She had a loud laugh. I can still hear it when i think of it.

She would never waste a single moment.Always doing something. Never ever lazing around.Never. Whether its cooking, stitching, if nothing else then going on a walk.

Over the years she has made so many friends, touched the life of so many people.There were so many people at her funeral. And a huge number of people who coludnt make it to alibag on that day.

And what ended this lively, enthusiastic, cheerful, fun-loving, ever-smiling, positive life on 28-02-08 was a deadly demon called cancer.How i hate this word!!!!

Your life is going normal,no problems at all and then suddenly everything stops. Your life becomes a life of visiting hospitals, taking treatments, medicines.Yet she took all this very positively.People who spoke to her on phone could not even make out, what pain she was going thru.She sounded so cheerful and normal.

Maasi - they call in hindi- maasi means maa jaisi.

I'll miss u shaila-pachi. But i'll always remember how to get the maximum out of the life that we have, which i have learnt from you.

I still cant believe she's gone.

Nani yaad dila dungi

Hey this statement is often said to threaten ppl in movies. Itna maaronga ki nani yaad aa jayegi..... God knows what's the connection.

Ppl forget their nanis and then remember them only when beaten up????

Or it could be that nani is the most loving person on earth and once beaten up, ppl need love & care and thats when they remember their nani.....

But today i wana write this post truly to remember and as a tribute to my nani who is no more with us ...

She had been staying with us for the past 9-10 years...

Before that we didnt know what it was to have a grandparent in the house.She and my dada-dadi used to come and stay with us but that was like guests.

Few days and years makes a whole lot of difference......

She is the most loving an caring person i have ever met. Always smiling.The most prettiest face ever. We had a chapter in our school. 10th standard probably...Phoolvedya maaeee....She always reminds me of that maaeee.The pleasant, loving, ever-smiling face.....

Always shielding us from the wrath of my mom.Whenver my mom was angry at me for something, she would say to her "Let it go, she'll not do it again"

She used to make awesome food. She taught me to do crochet, embroidery etc. We have loads of things in our house which she has made......

At a time when females used to only look after the house and kids, my naani was a director of sports at Elphinstone college.She used to teach in college....

She was of a very helping nature.Everybody who knew her will vouch for that.

She went through a lot of things. My nana's illness lasted for 15 years.She took care of him for that long without ever uttering a word of complain or irritation....

She fell down in July 07 and since then was bed-ridden. She was in a lot of pain for 7 months. So much pain that we couldn't bear to see her in pain....But she never uttered a word. Whenever we asked her, does it hurt she would say no, it's ok.There is a word in marathi for it....Sahansheelta. If anybody needs a definition of the word, they should have seen my nani.

She loved reading and watching tv. While she was in hospital she used to remember the characters on tv which used to amuse all doctors as well.

She was a favourite among all my maternal relatives and lots of her friends..... so much so that even her college friends were still in touch with her, till she went....

She used to be very amazed at new technology. Computers, mobiles etc were a fascination for her.Teach me how to operate them, she would say.......

Like all old people she would always get shocked at the prices of today...Hamaare zamaane me a ____ would cost ____ she would say.....

Towards the end she had memory lapses. she would forget our names....

When i used to ask her my name, she would say "u tell". Then i would say, "i know my name, u tell" Then she would say " i m old, i forget, i remember your name but still u say"Her memory lapses used to make us laugh. And she used to laugh at herself and say " u know how old i am"

There used to be a competition between me and my mama, whose name my nani will remember. Sometimes she obliged me and sometimes my mama won....

She loved cake and 7-up.Last few months she had to be fed everything. Once my mom planned to feed her cake. She went beside her, kept the plate of cake,then the phone rang and my mom went to pick it up.My nani couldn'y turn and move around but she had managed to eat up the entire piece on her own till my mom came back........

I can go on writing these cute incidents because there are many.....

The truth is, she was an integral part of our lives...

She was my mom's support system.....

Now that she's not there, there is an emptiness in the house. Whenever i go to her room, i still feel she is there.

She never gave any trouble to anybody in her entire lifetime of 87 years.Its sad she isnt there anymore but it's for her own good she's gone because we couldnt see her pain.

She died peacefully on 15-02-2008.Hope her soul rests in peace.

Mujhe nani yaad aa rahi hai........

Attachment & Change

Since the past few days i have been thinking about this word. "Attachment".......
Thers's also another one "change".......
Somehow these words have taken a new meaning in my life.
U get attached to a lot of things......
Especially me.....Very soon that tooo....
My mobile, my teddy, my books,my clothes,my pillow,my friends, my colleagues etc etc etc. The list is too long.
And then it is difficult to let go....
I have faced this problem since ages.....
I gave my old phone to my sis, but yet i feel its my own.
My friend, my neighbour of 17 years got married and went away. She started her new life and forgot about people she left behind. Now we are in touch. We talk on birthdays, anniversaries etc. In between we talk of how her office is and how my office is etc etc.
But the 17 years of sharing has ended.I can feel it.I dont blame her.To manage work with a new family, husband saas sasur etc is not an easy job, But i have lost out on a friend with whom i shared and cared.
Its difficult to let go...
I have lost touch with a friend whom i knew for 2 years.Good friend.But something somewhere went wrong. I lost there too.
When my manager left our office, i had tears in my eyes.Literally. Other ppl laughed at how naive i was.But I somehow idolised him (Though didnt work with him much). And i admired his way of working and wanted to learn so much from him.I couldnt let go.
Now i have left that office but i cant let go.....
I was speaking to a friend of mine from my old office the other day and just asking how is every1 else.Another friend came and said "baharwalon ko khabrein mat de" I knew he was joking. Thats the way he is always. But at that point those words stabbed me.I couldnt say a word. Just said bye and kept the phone.
Y did that word affect me so much.Its been 6-7 months, i left that place. But yet i have not been able to let go.......
Attachment is the word. Change is another.
Things change, feelings change, friends change, emotions change. But u cant remain attached to these.
U have to let go and move on....
I just wish all this wasnt so painful.....
Probably what people say is rite.
I am an emotional fool.
But cant separate this emotional me from myself.....
To be emotional is alrite.......
But u have to let go.....................

Dauda Dauda bhaga bhaga sa

Hey i am back after a long time.
Today i wana talk abt how this life ki bhagam bhag is getting to me.
From home to office, office to classes, classes to home.
Yeh hui weekdays ki kahani...
Weekends par classes, mock tests, main exams, functions, weddings, seminars,picnics,bank ka kaam,all things u cant do on weekdays and piled up for weekends,room saaf karo,movies jao.
Plus u have friends whom u haven't met for a long time.99% of my friends have been added to this list.Atleast 10% of them wana meet on weekends.
I just go on making a list of things i gotta do.
While i used to audit companies, i used to make a pending list and send it to the client daily.
I am planning to adopt the same practice in my daily life now.
Pending points as on....
Pretty soon i'll also have to start adding pending points like
1) Speak to mummy and pappa.
2) Call up sister at pune to ask if she's fine.
Probably the day is nearing.
And this is not the case only with me.
People all around the city are just running and running.
We have a marathon in our lives everyday.
Train,bus pakadni hai - bhago.
Whenever i stand in the queue at the bus-stop, i see people only running.
For the bus, for the train, rickshaw, taxi.And among all people running, if 1 person is walking slow, he gets pushed by each 1 behind him and finally after they r fedup of pushing, they give the final push and overtake.U just cant stroll when people are dying to get into the train.
I remember this song from Chachi 420 "Dauda dauda bhaga bhaga sa..."
Mumbai city never sleeps. It only runs.
There's a whole lot of people around me.Co-passengers, colleagues,friends, relatives,family, neighbours and not in any particular order.
But is bheed mein bhi tanhai hai.
Sounds poetic or hindi film songish.
But thats the truth.
There is no-one whom i can explain my inner-most feelings. I do share how i feel with my parents and few close friends.
But most of the times, they listen and start offering solutions.
Sometimes i dont need solutions, i just need a board where i can sound my feelings.
Just 1 patient ear.No arguments, no comforting, no pity,no happiness, no anger just plain listening.
But thats very difficult for any1 to do.Even for me.
As soon as you start hearing of a problem or a feeling, u immediately feel like offering some solution, some respite, some care.
But i do feel at times some1 should be there, in front of whom, u can just vent your emotions. Keeping them inside yourself is too bad. Pent-up feelings can cause problems.
But in this bhagam bhag where we hardly have any time to talk, who has the time to listen.
Hope to find such a person.
Anyway, too much of philosophy i guess.
Gotta get back to myself.
Bye to whoever reads this crap.
Tc.

Height of indecisiveness

Hey this is my first ever blogpost. And i am really excited about having a blog of my own....... Its a cool way to express your feelings......I am also having lots of thoughts in my mind rite now. Too much of a clutter i think.... From where to start is a question. What to write about is another question.


Let me begin with y i decided i am in/un decisive.For starters i have been thinking of having my own blog for the past 3-4 months. Never did it though.Too long isnt it. Kept thinking what to name.Kept thinking what would i write about...... thats indecisiveness. Neway have finally got down to writing.....


Thought of the URL for a long time and when nothing came to my mind, just named it indecisiveme.

I fight these battles every day, what to wear, where and how to go, how to do a certain thing etc etc


Long time ago i had read in the Linda Goodman book, that Librans are indecisive. But now i want to overcome this shortcoming if i may call it.Have to make decisions......


Recently i have got a job as a management trainee. In a year's time i'll be a manager. How many decisions i wud have to take.Got to be prepared for all that. I wish this blog gives me a good start.


Will keep posting. The best part of blogging is you can talk to no one in particular and yet feel a lot lighter because you have said what you feel.


Probably nowadays nobody really has the time to listen to what people think.Life has become too busy.Not only for me but everyone.Do we really have time to stop and think, where are we going.....


I feel time is passing too fast for my comfort. Things are happening so fast.Sometimes i wana break free from routine.Tried that. Had been on a holiday and now i am feeling, i wana go back.


Cant even make out whether i am loving what i am doing.I keep comforting myself that i'll find out in a short time. But the short time isnt getting over.


neway too mush for the first blog. Will post in soooooon. Bye to whoever has the time to read this.